There is a moment in any recovery - from a cold, the flu, or surgery - when one feels too good to just rest and stay put, but too bad to really do anything. When I encounter that moment, I know that I am well on my way to getting better.
In between the two is a kind of conflict. Why is it always at this time that I want to embrace every New Year's resolution, every whim to take up a new interest, every promise to spend more time taking photos or writing poetry? All the things I have ever wanted to do seem pressing and desirable, right now.
And of course, the presence of such desire creates frustration and boredom. Every other idea I come up with seems unacceptable. Yes, I now have the time to re-read A Search for Time Lost, but so totally don't want to.
Probably, the conflict propels us forward. I'm not sure how long one can stay in that space without changing something and suspect that it is much more a function of personality than it is a function of recovery.
So, I am planning for the day when I have the overwhelming desire to plant an herb garden and write symbolist poetry by trying to think of things I can reasonably and contentedly do. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to share!